Well, it's that time of year again. Did you remember to change your clocks? Spring ahead, fall forward. I hate waking up in the dark. I have a load of drywall from Duke OK to Destin FL. Flatbed freight is way down now.Being Halloween, know that many of America's truck drivers will not have to change their appearance to go trick or treating. Their resemblance to serial killers, perverts, muggers, hell's angels and ex-cons is uncanny. Mature men dressing up as cowboys and soldiers. I haven't seen many indians. My particular "favorite" are truckers dressing in total "cammo", looking more like children playing "war" in their jammies. Do these "men" realize how completely stupid they look?
I recently wrote in my other blog about the driver who thinks he's Elvis. He's ready 24/7 to knock on doors. Then we have the "ex-servicemen" crowd. You've heard them sitting at counters in truckstops everywhere. The "special forces" guys. Unshaven and chain smoking, they claim to wear the hats and boots (and underwear?) issued to them in boot camp or a local army-navy surplus store. Sit next to them and you'll be subjected to the "long" version of how "they" took Hill 45 in the made-up war being waged in their heads. Some smell as strong as the 6 pack of Bud they consumed in the their truck. Everyone else avoids them. Trick or treat?
What about the rapper "I'm soooo cool" drivers. No need for a costume here. Totally white sneakers - unlaced. Jeans three sizes too large that come down just below the knee, red and white soxs that go above the knee, a XXXXL football jersey with a O sewn on the back and of course, something that resembles a black condom on their head. Add a few gold front teeth and chains for the "full effect". Wow. Trick or treat?
Then we have the farmer "Ed" crowd. Dirty smelly once-blue overalls right out of a "Hee Haw" episode. A button or two missing - a hole in the behind or on the knee. Most of these drivers resemble Vincent D' Onofrio's character in the movie "Men in Black." 350+ pounds is the norm for these beefy fellas. Some are bald, some hairy - some look like the ole railroad "bums" that came into town on the southbound freight train. All look out of place in "this" world.
Finally, we have the ladies. Some are drivers, others passengers. Many look like the mother of the driver, when in reality, they are the girlfriend or wife. 30 year old females with uncut grey hair, stained clothes and missing teeth. A few are "lot-lizards" moving from one locale to another, some were recently "guests" of the government and many are just regular working folk. But, I have to do a double take and remind myself this is 2006. Did you ever see the John Steinbeck movie "Grapes of Wrath", the 1940 flic about the Great Depression? Many of the women in this industry look like extras from that project. Many others seem to be in a contest to see how many layers of fat can surround a human skeleton.
What ever happened to "class?" What about pride? Professionalism? This is not funny anymore. Drivers are disgusting fatbodies. Many are scary looking. Things are getting worse, not better. "We" will never get what we deserve unless we clean up our act and stop celebrating Halloween all year long!
