I think I've found my true calling. National recruiter for Hooters. Yes, as the kids say in the Oscar Meyer commercial: "that is what I truly want to be - e - e." I'm here at the Rogers, MN T/A recovering from one of the worst colds I've had in years. Mrs. Grumpy is a forceful woman. It doesn't matter where I am. Even over the phone her female power can just get me to do things I just don't want to. So, as sick as a dog as I am, she said to get my butt out of the truck and get some "real" food. So with cold whatevers going up and down my spine, sore throat, puffy burning eyes, swollen tongue - sitting at a table away from everyone else as not to infect them - I had dinner. I made very sure, the nice guy I am, to wash my hands before touching the ketchup, etc. My server for this meal is the smokin' hot Kate. What is this girl doing at a T/A for goodness sakes? I'll answer that question later. "What would you like to drink?", she asks. "Water with lemon", I reply in my deep Darth Vader (causa da cold!) voice. "Sorry, we have no lemons", she replies. HAVE NO LEMONS!!! There is a Target super land or super expectations or whatever across the street and about 500 other stores within a 15 mile radius of here, and YOU HAVE NO LEMONS!!! How lame is T/A, that someone, anyone, even the moron manager couldn't have taken 10 freakin' minutes and gone across the street and bought some damn lemons!! Of course I didn't say that to hot Kate, because just looking at her all I could think was: why is this girl working at this lemon less shit hole and not at Hooters. I bet Hooters has plenty of lemons! "Oh no big deal", I lie, and say "just bring me plain ice water." She smiles. What a wuss I am. If Kate was fat, old and ugly and not a Hooters candidate, like the whiny "hag" the drivers at the counter had to suffer with, I would have given her a hard time. As sick as I was, in the mood I am in, I just would have walked across the street and bought the idiots here some damn lemons - no charge! Now when a driver gets a hot waitress at a T/A or FJ or wherever, words mysteriously gets out (I won't tell you what the antenna is - use your imagination). Before I took my first bite hot Kate had about 7 more tables to take care of vs. when I sat down. I gave up trying to spread my germs. One driver with several double chins asked: "what is the soup?". Kate replied: "cheeezy broccoli" in such a sexy way that all of us in her "serving sphere" just stopped whatever we were doing and paused with, how do I describe it, yes, delight. "Holy shit" I thought I said to myself, I've gotta hear that again." "Damn straight", the driver in the table in front of me said. Soon, and I kid you not, every driver began asking hot Kate what the soup was - "cheeezy broccoli". Hot Kate swung by and asked if I, I mean me, I mean "everything" was ok, and I wanted soo badly to ask "what the soup was?". What a wuss! I guess what I ate, whatever it was, was ok. I lost interest right after I ordered it. And, of course, hot Kate is not responsible for the lack of lemons. I've gotta go now. Oh yeah, if you ask a hot girl like Kate why she doesn't work at a place like Hooters, she, 99% of the time, will say: "I'm too fat to wear that outfit." Yeah right. And, I think the old "hag" behind the counter her mother. Shit. The photo credit for Jessica Simpson (pretending to be a hot waitress) is: http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0WTefPujytIN7QApN2jzbkF/SIG=12n53c53a/EXP=1210900846/**http%3A//www.allmegastar.com/photo/2005_the_dukes_of_hazzard_024.html
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Cheeezy broccoli...
I think I've found my true calling. National recruiter for Hooters. Yes, as the kids say in the Oscar Meyer commercial: "that is what I truly want to be - e - e." I'm here at the Rogers, MN T/A recovering from one of the worst colds I've had in years. Mrs. Grumpy is a forceful woman. It doesn't matter where I am. Even over the phone her female power can just get me to do things I just don't want to. So, as sick as a dog as I am, she said to get my butt out of the truck and get some "real" food. So with cold whatevers going up and down my spine, sore throat, puffy burning eyes, swollen tongue - sitting at a table away from everyone else as not to infect them - I had dinner. I made very sure, the nice guy I am, to wash my hands before touching the ketchup, etc. My server for this meal is the smokin' hot Kate. What is this girl doing at a T/A for goodness sakes? I'll answer that question later. "What would you like to drink?", she asks. "Water with lemon", I reply in my deep Darth Vader (causa da cold!) voice. "Sorry, we have no lemons", she replies. HAVE NO LEMONS!!! There is a Target super land or super expectations or whatever across the street and about 500 other stores within a 15 mile radius of here, and YOU HAVE NO LEMONS!!! How lame is T/A, that someone, anyone, even the moron manager couldn't have taken 10 freakin' minutes and gone across the street and bought some damn lemons!! Of course I didn't say that to hot Kate, because just looking at her all I could think was: why is this girl working at this lemon less shit hole and not at Hooters. I bet Hooters has plenty of lemons! "Oh no big deal", I lie, and say "just bring me plain ice water." She smiles. What a wuss I am. If Kate was fat, old and ugly and not a Hooters candidate, like the whiny "hag" the drivers at the counter had to suffer with, I would have given her a hard time. As sick as I was, in the mood I am in, I just would have walked across the street and bought the idiots here some damn lemons - no charge! Now when a driver gets a hot waitress at a T/A or FJ or wherever, words mysteriously gets out (I won't tell you what the antenna is - use your imagination). Before I took my first bite hot Kate had about 7 more tables to take care of vs. when I sat down. I gave up trying to spread my germs. One driver with several double chins asked: "what is the soup?". Kate replied: "cheeezy broccoli" in such a sexy way that all of us in her "serving sphere" just stopped whatever we were doing and paused with, how do I describe it, yes, delight. "Holy shit" I thought I said to myself, I've gotta hear that again." "Damn straight", the driver in the table in front of me said. Soon, and I kid you not, every driver began asking hot Kate what the soup was - "cheeezy broccoli". Hot Kate swung by and asked if I, I mean me, I mean "everything" was ok, and I wanted soo badly to ask "what the soup was?". What a wuss! I guess what I ate, whatever it was, was ok. I lost interest right after I ordered it. And, of course, hot Kate is not responsible for the lack of lemons. I've gotta go now. Oh yeah, if you ask a hot girl like Kate why she doesn't work at a place like Hooters, she, 99% of the time, will say: "I'm too fat to wear that outfit." Yeah right. And, I think the old "hag" behind the counter her mother. Shit. The photo credit for Jessica Simpson (pretending to be a hot waitress) is: http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0WTefPujytIN7QApN2jzbkF/SIG=12n53c53a/EXP=1210900846/**http%3A//www.allmegastar.com/photo/2005_the_dukes_of_hazzard_024.html
