Anyway, forklift drivers are lazy mother..f’kers. They’re far more stupider and lazy than box drivers. Even, Swift, JB Hunt or Schneider drivers. Operating a forklift is about the same as “driving” a tricycle” Then you put some idiot behind the wheel who thinks that’s where he’s (she’s) supposed to sit ALL DAY and not get up for any reason, and you have the typical moron forklift driver.
The primary function of the forklift operator is to safely pick things up off the ground (or a shelf) and drive it forward a few feet and try to put in on or in a truck. Sounds simple right? It is. But I have yet to encounter one forklift driver who cannot do this without some difficulty. Loading or unloading a truck for your typical moron lift driver is a 2, sometimes, 3 cigarette affair. Some do the “chew” thing, which is even more disgusting.
So I pull into some place the other day. You know the kind. No signs. You’re supposed to know what to do and where to go. Just like you work there. That’s because the place where the moron forklift drivers are, is run by morons. So I sit there and this moron forklift driver pulls up to the front of my tractor. You’d think he would get out and come over to talk to me. Noooo. The moron does this little thing with his finger that I hate, motioning me to get out of my truck to him. I swear on my last trip in trucking, when a moron forklift driver does this to me, I’m gonna get out of my truck and go over and break his (or her) freak’n finger. I’m gonna bend the thing all the way back to his (or her) wrist, while I enjoy him (or her) scream in agony.
Fast forward a bit. I follow the moron lift operator to where he wants me. He finally gets his fat ass out of the lift and asks me for my keys. It’s about 15 degrees. I give them to him. Then he takes them and puts ‘em in a little red plastic box along with the trailer end of my red air line. Thank goodness, because I was thinking of moving the truck every time he tried to put a pallet on. Oh, I didn’t apply the trailer brakes so when he took off the air line he got a big puff of air in his kisser and off went his stupid moron forklift drivers wholly cap. Whooosh!
Moron loads the trailer, well, like a moron. 12,100 on the steers. 37,080 in the trailer. Screw it. I’ll burn off the steer weight by the time I get to the nearest scale. And the 37K?, I have spreads. Turns out the scales are closed between OH and NC. And no, I do not have a sliding fifth wheel.
Oh wait, I forgot the best part. So the crap I’m picking up is sitting in some pasture somewhere in the snow. The moron is using some lift bought by a pinhead MBA purchasing idiot back at the home office. It ain’t made for outdoor use, let along in the snow. It is light weight, has little bald tires and a funky hydrostatic clutch. It's a Corgi toy. And, of course, it gets stuck. Moron has to radio for another moron with a tractor type lift with chains on to come and rescue him and take over the loading responsibility. I guess it never snows in Cleveland. Whatever. What else can you expect from morons?
You’ve heard the story of the Swift truck at Wal-Mart that was being loaded by a moron forklift driver. The lift operator fell asleep on the lift inside the trailer. The Swift driver (???) closed the trailer not looking inside and took off. At the rest area someone else heard the banging on the side of the trailer. Who knows if the Swift driver let him out. Who cares. Morons.
The photo credit is: http://www.kungfo0.org/theweb/media/images?D=D
