Hey, I’ll let you in on a secret. Maybe you already know this, maybe you don’t. Anybody around you? No? Good. Ok, here it is – most of the CEO’s (Chief Executive Officers), Presidents and almost all VP’s are morons. Yup – that’s right. The job is real easy.
Most of these folks got the “big” job because their father used to run the company. Many went to the “right” school and because they were in the same fraternity, bingo, they got the job. I’ve know bank Presidents who never made a loan, trucking company CEO’s who have never been inside a moving truck and many other heads of companies who didn’t know or care about anything that happened below the floor that their oversized office was on.
Many CEO’s got the job because they “look” the part. I’ve found that the more “they” look the part, the less there is up top, if you know what I mean. Others were selected because they “towed” the company line and didn’t make waves. They played the game. They were good politicians. They went to the same church or temple. They married into the job. Some even bought their way into the job.
Listen, I guarantee you the job of CEO is not hard. All you do is press a button on your large marble desk and ask for anything. The bigger the company, the more folks you have falling over each other trying to kiss your ass. In many way, being a CEO is not really working, it’s a paid vacation.
Now if I was the CEO – for the $500,000 of course – this is what I’d do. I’d sit in the big luxurious office they’d give me looking mighty fine. I might even break out all my old ties – or did I throw them away ? - whatever - and right in front of me would be an auditors report. A what? An “independent” auditors report of the “state” of the company. I want to know everything “we” do from soup to nuts, all expenses, sales, how many jets we own, how much everyone gets paid – EVERYTHING.
And I want an income statement, balance sheet and cash flow statement. And then I want ONE piece of paper on top of all this other paper telling me if we’re making money and if not, why? Then I’m going to tell the thousands that work for me to continue doing what they’ve been doing or if we’re not making money, to start doing things differently or we’ll get others to do it. See – easy.
Then I’m going to get on the company jet and go visit some customers, make some sales calls, spend a little of that $500,000 on some goodies for the Mrs. G., play some golf, then go back into the office the next day and do the same thing all over again. Because that what a CEO does.
And anyone that whines that $500,000 isn’t enough is a moron. Shame on them. I didn’t go to Harvard, I’m not a Episcopalian and I didn’t go to that club they belong to, but, not only can I be your CEO but $500,000 a year is just fine with me, so I’m waiting for your call…
The photo credit is: www.atticfirearchitecture.com/main1/pages/Exe...
