Drivers and civilians - here is a photo of the "typical" terminal safety person. For those readers who have never seen the movie or television show M*A*S*H, then you've obviously been living under a rock and won't know what I'm talking about. I suggest you rent the DVDs.
No matter which carrier you work for I can guarantee you that the "typical" terminal safety person is modeled after the one and only Major Frank Burns. The Major was - and I'm quoting from the Wikipedia site about him - a "borderline incompetent and egotistical person who blamed others for this shortcomings. He is officious, frenetic - a pompous twerp - obsessed with [military] order. In other words, the "typical" terminal safety person.
I would go a bit further - 99% of all safety people are morons, assholes, pinheads and idiots. I don't know if they were all born that way or somewhere along the line for some reason – beamed about a UFO and examined by aliens? - they became that way. The worse safety people are ex-drivers. Even more horrible are ex-drivers who are ex-military. Let’s put retired cops in with that bunch too. They all suffer from the same delusional insanity that Corporal Hitler did. And the shorter the safety person is - the more vile they are.
Long ago, at the beginning of my OTR driving career, I shrink wrapped a safety guys car in Birmingham, AL. I don't remember what he did to me, but he deserved worse. The best policy in dealing with safety people is to avoid them at all costs. If you must interface with one of them - yes them to death until you can't take it anymore and then just walk away and call your driver manager. If your driver manager or dispatcher doesn't have any balls to back you up, then you're pretty much screwed. Make the best of it knowing you can spend the next year or so dreaming of how you're going to kill him.
Now, I have a lot of experience in dealing with the Major Burns of the world. I can smell them. I can sense them. They have a certain look, a certain aura, a certain sound. I'm like a skunk. When I sense one of "them" near me, my tail goes up and I spray the room with my "Don't screw with me" scent. And no matter who it is, I will go head to head with any of "them" and give "them" as much or more shit than they try to give me. But don't try this unless you have a good safety record and seniority.
The photo credit is: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frank_Burns
