Reporting tonight from Little Falls MN. Guess what? Yup, it’s cold, rainy and dark. I’m sure everyone is very nice up here, but this is no place for humans to live. Their two weeks of summer are nice but the rest of the year sucks. This is a great place if you want a cold. 36 hours in this damp creepy weather and you’ll start to sneeze and need some really hot chicken soup. Don’t forget the Nyquil. Soon after I arrived, some guy comes out from the dark and says he’ll be back at 5 AM to unload me. Really, I said. My “appointment” was for 630 AM. which is very unusual for me, and I’ll take the securement off, but I’ll be up about 7 AM. I don’t wake up at 5 AM for anybody, especially in Minnesota. Back in the good times, I’d get a trip from Minneapolis down to Laredo. Fat chance that’ll happen tomorrow for ever again for that matter.
The Mrs. is off on a Royal Caribbean “craft” cruise somewhere in the Bahamas with her scrapbooking mafia. I’m never worried about pirates taking over the ship since all the women that she’s with are well equipped with the sharpest scissors, needles and pins and they’re not afraid to use them. What does bother me is that I have nobody to talk to. My best friend is out of cell phone range. She gets back this Friday. I can’t wait. Next cruise we do together.
I did pick up a copy of The Trucker, written by a small staff of Scientologists, who are all members of the Truck Writers of North America. The TWNA is a “restricted” association and doesn’t allow bloggers in their little group. What it seems they do best is give themselves awards every year at their annual gathering. This year Wayne Weisser, the creator and editor of Life On The Road and I will send each other something “award-like” – perhaps a box of chocolates or something for our outstanding work covering the trucking industry and being ignored by the TWNA. Hey Wayne, maybe they’ll let us in the Truck Writers of South America! LOL
The Trucker is covering the confirmation hearing of Anne S. Ferro to head the FMCSA. That’s the group that doesn’t know anything about me, but sent me an e-mail saying they chose someone else to be a public affairs specialist for them. Quite frankly, I don’t give a shit who heads the FMCSA. The government will never be happy until they can shove a tracking device up my ass so they monitor me (and ever other truck driver) 24/7. And you know I’ll have to pay for the damn thing!
Lastly, and I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before – more and more drivers are wearing a shoe called Crocs. I can’t wear them because I’m too fat. They have little bump like things supposedly to make your walking experience more pleasurable. Well, my 300+ lbs. press the bottom of my feet down on those little bumps and hurt my feet. Mario Batali, the fat Italian Iron Chef has worn a version of Crocs for years. He’s heavier than me, but the bumps apparently don’t bother him. I think his shoes make him look stupid, but them he’s a millionaire and what does he care what he look like. I did find a pair of very white trash red-neck cammo fake crocs for $12 at Wal-Mart – no bumps. The real bumpy Crocs go for about $45.
Anyway, I was picking up a load at some steel place the other day. Despite the fact that the driver is loading slinkies (coils) outdoors – far from any OSHA type danger – he/she has to wear a hart hat, long pants, long sleeve shirt and steel toe shoes. It was 85 degrees that day and in this stupid “safe” get up, I almost fainted of heat stroke. One driver tried to get past the security dude with his crocs. The rent a cop asked: “steel toe?” The driver said absolutely. Good for him unless something heavy or sharp falls on his foot. Sorry, drivers, there are no steel toe crocs.
