TRUCKING - ON THE SWEAT OF ITS DRIVERS

I've been out of the front seat for just about two years now. I watch the winter weather reports and see the many accidents and mishaps on the nightly news. I put my time in. 15+ years of over the road flatbed driving in some of the worst conditions. I always feel bad when a semi is involved.

I'll be someone – anywhere - and for whatever reason my mind will flash back to somewhere I was – driving, delivering, picking-up or arguing. Sure, there were plenty of good times. I wouldn't trade a minute when my son was with me on the road during many summers. Like other jobs, there were instance's of much satisfaction and pride. Other occasions, when safety threatened me not to idle when it was frigid cold or sweltering hot or I would be terminated, made my blood boil.

One of my greatest safety valves was the blog “Life On The Road” where I posted over 650 articles about what I was experiencing and the business of trucking. I was both applauded and chastised for my viewpoint and opinions. I was always under the impression that the newer green drivers, most of whom never lasted very long, always wanted to think that truck driving was some kind of adventure. That drivers were paid tourists.

It is not an adventure and after a million miles driving, only maybe once or twice did I ever shift in tourist mode. For the experienced and more senior drivers, trucking is and will always be a serious business. Anyone who doesn't think otherwise is a fool. A few back to back weeks of low miles and a zero paycheck, especially during the holidays, and off come those rosy glasses. A wife and kids back home that can't pay the mortgage or power bill because of slow freight takes years off everyone's life. Depression is common. 

I'm not going to dwell on the downside of trucking. I earned my CDL and all my endorsements after I was downsized from another industry in a much earlier recession. That CDL got me employed again and became worth far more than any college education or other business experience. I jumped around at first as most newbies do and finally joined a decent company out of Tulsa. I spent almost seven years there.

During all my years driving I can honestly say I fought hard for every mile, every dollar and for the best safest equipment. I also must honestly state that I never got paid adequately for the work I did and the time on the job I put in. I viewed it as a 60/40 relationship with me on the short end of the equation. It was only at the very end of my driving career that I did not give 125% to the job and the company that employed me.

The transition from driving is tougher than I though, but I'm trying to move on. Water under the bridge and all. Due to physical limitations, I'll never be able to drive a commercial vehicle again. My time behind the wheel of a 4-wheeler is also limited. Every once in a while I'll go back to my old company website and see how things are going. I was doing that just today and I saw that they're building a new corporate headquarters. They broke ground earlier this month. The old facilities, at least to me, still look new.

I think it might have been Warren Buffet – or some other gazillionaire who said that in certain industries – like trucking – all you need to be successful in business is a desk, chair, computer, telephone and someone willing to put in the time and deal with all the BS. A multi-million dollar headquarters structure wasn't part of the deal. As one of the folks that picked up and delivered the freight, I never saw the need for the people that supported my efforts to have any better “digs” than me.

I looked at the picture of that new corporate headquarters and there came the rush of flashbacks of all the penny pinching, pettiness, harassment from safety, operations and maintenance, the arrogance of customers and all the absurd rules, regulations and policies that all drivers have to deal with daily. That new building, although I don't work at the company anymore, will be built with my sweat and that of all over the road truck drivers. We will never get the credit or compensation for what we do. 

Build your beautiful impressive new corporate headquarters, but never forget as every brick is applied that "you" refused to pay "us" for an extra stop, a HAZMAT load, waiting or detention time, days waiting for special loads to clear customs in Canada to come back to US, crossing picket lines, time re-powering loads, downtime repairing your truck or trailers and missing all those holidays or cutting home time short to do those “special” favors. Our sweat and sacrifice made that building possible. 

New Hope - New Pope?

I'm not Catholic, but the Vatican and their entire priest abuse fiasco worldwide has been so shoved up our rear ends by the nightly news, it's hard not to care about the selection of the new Pope. Of course, the entire process and to a great extent religion itself, it such a sham. Old men in lace robes with red beanies being locked up for days politically playing and maneuvering among each other to select a new leader. It's a grown up boys tree house club with secret handshakes and billions of dollars and euros at stake. I just can't fathom how Jesus, the ultimate iconoclast, would have any part of this or for that matter celibate priests, nuns and all the rest of the absurd pomp and ceremony associated with the Catholic church. Wasn't it Jesus himself who fought against the outdated traditions and practices of the Jewish religion?

Both "believers" and non-believers in the Catholic religion want the new Pope to a younger (than 85) hip kind of fellow. A sort of Obama type, but with even more charisma and with the where with all to modernize the church and clean up their pedophile problem. The Cardinal of New York seems close to that type. Everyone would like to see a new "flower power" along with the windows and doors open to all the secrecy by whomever they chose. Perhaps the selection might be better served by a vote of Catholics worldwide including the second class nuns. Of course, we're dealing with old scared "men" who tend to think very much inside the box. Remember these men have (supposedly) not had sex, don't really understand the realities and demands of a real marriage or relationship, are homophobic and clearly have a problem keeping their own internal affairs in order - so the hope for them to chose someone who thinks differently is doubtful. The "church" is a patriarchy not a democracy. Good luck with that.

Gun Control - Waste of Time

We all know the latest gun control debate is stupid. It's the usual hot air BS out of Washington DC. It never accomplishes anything. It doesn't matter which side says it - the lunatic survivalist current leadership of the NRA or Republican Senator Lindsay Graham of South Carolina or Democratic Senator Barbara Boxer of California. The history books will not be kind to these people and few if any will remember their names or positions. They're all clearly irrelevant.

The problem has little to do with guns. It has everything to do with mental health. If I was so inclined to make some "statement" by shooting innocent people I could and there would be no gun law that would stop me. No matter where I've lived in the world, most anything that was illegal could be easily obtained. That includes guns, shot guns, automatic rifles, high capacity magazines, bullets, porn, sex, drugs or marijuana. You don't even have to know the right location, know the right person or have the cash. I grew up in New York City and these "opportunities" to purchase whatever was illegal came to me. And I never sought it out.

We are not allowed to spend a long weekend on the beaches of Cuba or smoke their cigars, but buying a handgun is a simple process. You can buy your bullets at Wal-Mart. Law enforcement in the country has been engaged in a useless "war" on drugs. Their pathetic efforts have led to little or impact on the movement and sale of illegal weapons. They stand and pose for the media with seized bales of marijuana and cocaine behind them in a show and tell game while places like Chicago in 2013 resemble the 1920's. Looks to me like Rome is burning. Meanwhile, the drugs and weapons flow and our jails are filled with young poor uneducated minorities.

The most powerful and technologically advanced military in the history of man can't stop the drug cartels. Our government, elected by and for the people, hasn't got the where with all to prevent a mentally disturbed individual from using his mother's weapons and murdering children in their elementary school classrooms. This is a confused, cowardly, befuddled and dangerous Congress. They alone are culpable for these horrific acts not gun owners. Not one more law for "deeper" background checks or longer waiting periods or banning assault weapons or limiting how many bullets you can shoot at any one time will do anything to stop the murder.

Is not the answer as simple as giving a Luvox to Howard Hughes for his OCD? We have never adequately addressed the need for proper mental health care and education in this country. We brush it under the rug as with so many other important issues we hope somehow magically will disappear or solve itself. Our "representatives" are so good at smoke screens, diversions, double-speak, delays and slight of hand that we don't want to hear them anymore. And that's exactly how they want it - it's how they do business. It's how they mask their ignorance.

"He's a depressed person. It started in high school where he was bullied. He was a loner. He has no friends. He spends lots of time online. Teachers, he claims, apparently hated him. He's never been in trouble though. Love's video games. Tried shooting a real gun once. He cut his thumb in the recoil but it felt good. His uncle collects knives and those long Asian swords. He'd love to carry around one of those all the time. "Voices" started saying things in his head. He "feels" weird. He can't afford those meds someone gave him two years ago. He just wants to be like everyone else."

Is "this person" going to go into the local gun shop in town and fill out the forms for a assault rifle? Are his fingerprints in some database for some reason? Are we going to have a large new Federal administration housed in some massive bureaucratic building like the Pentagon? They'll doing a intensive background check by trained psychological counselors that will talk directly with his teachers? Maybe do a home study? Perhaps this will be the responsibility of our crack Homeland Security Administration - the same folks who search the elderly and disabled children for explosives. Aren't they the ones responsible for the failed attempt to control illegal drugs and firearms in the U.S.?

Perhaps more complicated than that Luvox pill, one former great President dedicated and directed all of us toward to moon. Incomprehensible at the time. Mission accomplished. Long overdue, it is now time for this President to commit this country to stop the insanity of what has never worked and shift our technology, human resources and money toward providing the safety and security that comes from superior mental health. It's time to swallow the pill.

It "Ain't" Zumba

After years of pushing my body and utterly abusing it in the process, four surgeries later for a variety of ailments from my heart to my knees, I've decided to finally take care of myself. I should say, try, to take care of myself. I was smart enough to join Weight Watchers before the holidays and have managed to lose 14 pounds of the "tonnage" I still need to rid myself of. I am unfortunately no longer able to run and the pain at times from walking limits my activity, but somehow I needed to find a way to exercise.

My son, who belongs to two health clubs - one associated with his job - took me as a visitor to the one that has a large pool. I tried several "devices" from free weights to an exercise bike, becoming instantly very sore, but the pool is what I really wanted to do. This club also appeared to have people of all ages and sizes with none of the "Hollywood" types that turn most people off when thinking of joining health clubs. My son offered to put me on his membership - the cost being damn reasonable at $29 a month.

After three consecutive days of swimming in chlorinated 85 degree water and loving every minute of it, I saw on the schedule a one hour daily water aerobics class. My wife took one a long time ago and raved about it plus I know I would be able to do things in the water that are not possible for me on dry land. I don't have a regular work schedule, so 9am every morning was perfect for me. You didn't need to sign up or any of that nonsense, just show up.

I got to the pool about fifteen minutes early. I hung my extra large towel up and took off my Crocs, which if they got wet would completely screw me up because I wrote, in pen, the combination of my locker on both heels. I'm terrible with numbers, both calculating and remembering them. My wife told me to buy a lock that you could open and close with a word, but I couldn't find one at Wal-Mart. I've haven't had to use a combination lock for anything since junior high school and just turning the dial trying to get it open brought back terrible memories. I could have bought a key lock but then I'd probably lose it.

There were four people in the pool talking among themselves. They looked to be about 70ish. They were discussing cruising - where they've been, where they've just come back from and where they place to go in the near future. There is term - "Q-Tips" - referring to senior citizens and their white hair. Well, these were all Q-Tips, with all due respect, and their combined weight was probably around 2500 lbs. One of the men had to be pushing 400 lbs. which is fine and dandy with me because it only makes me look that smaller. I've long since stopped being concerned about how I look in a bathing suit, but it helps to know that others much larger than me apparently feel the same way about themselves.

By the time the class started there were 25 more Q-Tips, all of the them obese. The leader was old but fit and trim. Not someone who you would see on Oprah as a fitness guru, but she'll get the job done. I later found out that she had just been asked to fill in for the regular woman who was MIA. I was told by one of the ladies in the pool that I need to have my water aerobics "gear" also known as swim bar floats or resistance hands bars. I got out of the pool, got my "gear", returned to the water and was then told by another lady to use the proper grip.

Now there were five men, not including me, in the pool, for the workout. I said I've never done anything like this, so I was there to exercise and learn -  my eyes and ears focusing in on the commands of the instructor. For the "other" men there, it was play time. It is so true when they say you revert in age the older you get. You're born a baby and die a baby. Old men are a combination of horny "dirt" old farts and little boys. These 70+ year old boys were laughing, splashing and throwing their "gear" at each other, while the women (and me) looked on and the instructor becoming quite pissed off. I thought these guys were going to take out squirt guns and blast each other with soapy water - like I used to do in camp when I was 10 years old.

After a few more minutes of this child play, the leader told them to cut it out. I thought she was going to put them in some sort of time out at the shallow end of the pool until they decided to behave. The rest of us were doing leg lifts, knee bends and arm stretching. We could have used some music. As I'm bouncing up and down in the water, I noticed from across the gym a bunch of women aggressively dancing and jumping to a deep base pounding rap beat. That was the Zumba class which perhaps in my dreams I might do someday. If the boys stopped playing with themselves and look out the window, they'd see the twenty something "hotties" shaking with the music. Their loss.

I guess I was so fixed on the view across the hall that I kind of starting doing my own thing out of sync with everyone else. I looked up and saw the leader's eyes gazing right at me while she was waving her arms and yelling at me to get with the program. I could hear the old ladies snicker at me. "Deeper", "closer", "wider", "no that way", was what I heard shouted at me until I was brought back in line with the rest of the group. The other men were merely making believe and going through the motions of the class.

Twenty-five or so minutes into the program I was not only getting into "it" but was becoming exhausted. The Zumba class seemed to be moving now faster than ever. I also felt like I was being singled out because I was the newbie - a water aerobics virgin. I tried to hide behind one of the larger females in the pool, but she kept drifting away. At that point, the leader had given up trying to corral the other men. They became goofier than ever. There was no hot sun above us, but I began to perspire - I was really getting "jiggy" with this water exercise deal. If I slowed down even in the slightest way - now all the women took over cajoling me as if some delegation by estrogen magically transferred responsibility for my workout.

Fifty minutes into this aqua torture and it's time to cool down. As one of the men - children - so appropriately yelled out as he threw his resistance hand bars off to the side of the pool - thank God. "Reach for the sky", "higher, higher, wider, wider" commanded the leader, none of men listening except me. I heard a whisper in my ear "Don't forget to breathe sweetie" from behind me. I turned and whoever it was had floated away. Once last big stretch and it was all over with. I was hot, tired - I was wasted. I wanted to fall asleep somewhere. The hot tub spa thingy was closed otherwise I would have jumped in there and fallen asleep.

So, it "ain't" Zumba, but it sure as hell is a workout. The class, especially the ladies, as old and heavy as they are, got through the 55 minutes without a hitch. They've been doing it for years they told me. The men got out of the pool like teenagers running out of class when the lunch bells rings. As I was waiting for the pool to empty, one of the heaviest of them floated over to me and asked if this was my first class. "Yes it is", I said. "Well", he said, "you've got to come back tomorrow because that leader is so much better! It will be a real workout", he claimed. I thanked him, walked up the steps and barely made it to my car. Sure, I'll give it another whirl tomorrow.

Review - Mug's 'N Jugs Clearwater FL

You don't have to be a senior citizen retired and living in a trailer park to enjoy some the "fine" dining we have in the highway construction capital of West Central Florida - Clearwater. Before 5pm there are simply a plethera of early bird specials that are easy on the wallet costing around $5.95 per person. On Wednesday's that price includes some type of icy cold tasty beverge like sweetened ice tea or Sierra Mist on the rocks. The Northeast have their diners, we here in the Sunshine State have our family restaurants or for the more adventurous, sports bars. 

I was hungry and saw a "popular" sports bar called Mugs 'N Jugs and decided to revisit them for an early dinner. The place was almost empty except for a few Q-Tips (fine decent folks with white hair) and a few workers off the clock representing our vanishing middle class. My wife and I were immediately seated by a nice young chap that had put a far too generous "splash of Aqua Velva on. "Sierra" our "server" came by quick enough and we ordered drinks. I noticed a long run in her glossy - thick as support hose - tights that ran from just below the bottom of her "Hooter's" knock off stretchy shorts to just above the middle of her thigh. It's a turn off. 

We ordered onion rings to start - my wife wanted a Black Russian. The main course was "Jack Daniels" steakhouse burger - medium rare - for me and ribs and shrimp for her. After the order was placed "Sierra" went MIA, or perhaps KIA? We weren't sure. Someone else with no runs brought out the food. There were 4 little grilled shrimp with the ribs and somewhere buried underneath a pile of "other" weird stuff was a boring WELL DONE hamburger. The onion rings were unbelieveably greasy. The horseradish bland. I would say "dining" at Burger King would have been a better choice. Too bad they don't have a liquor license.

A while after the Black Russian was gone and I had finished my Sprite, I looked around the place and there were NO servers - anywhere. We flagged down Aqua Velva man and said we needed a refill and a Coke. I could hear the Jeopardy clock tune in my mind. From somewhere "Sierra" reappeared asking cutsie putsie style if "everything"  was (like) OK? No dear, we need something to drink. Perhaps if you asked my wife if she wanted another alcoholic beverage you could afford some new pantyhose. A few minutes goes by and Aqua Velva comes over to chat? I asked him what he did after we asked him for our soda. He seemed confused. "I didn't know who your server was. Duh.

Between the grease and stupidity, I walked out with a stress stomach ache and $39.01 poorer. I'll give Mugs 'N Jugs a "D". I've been there before, and a name change to "Dumb 'N Dumber" would be appropriate. Bad service and far less than great food quality abound in Tampa Bay. This, obviously, was no exception. 

Table 1/1 5:23pm #80018 

 

 

Who is GOD?

I’m asked this all the time. No really I am. I’ve given it a great deal of thought, especially in light of all the confusion that the world’s diverse religions have placed on the definition of who is GOD. Some religious people think they know who is GOD, and I believe that none of them have a clue. Understand that I’m no expert, I do not study religion, don’t have a graduate degree or a Ph.D in religious studies. I’m most definitely not a preacher, priest, Mullah, Rabbi or minister. And so, because I am none of those, my opinion of who is GOD, is way more important than those so called guru’s and experts. Why? Because I, more importantly, am one of GOD’s followers. Nothing else matters. Certainly not to HIM.

So, I want you to think of this scenario. You go in a pool on a hot scorching day. You see an insect or frog floating around on top of the water. It can’t grasp the slippery tiled sides, there is no float to hang on to and for all intent and purposes it has given up hope and starts to roll up in a ball and awaits its demise. Then you come along. You pick up the insect in your cupped hand and place it on the dry concrete. You watch to see that it doesn’t crawl back toward the pool and fall in again. You might blow on it a little to dry it off. It does what insects do rubbing its wings and feelers, then flies away. “It” has no clue what just happened. That’s exactly what GOD does, what HE is all about and who HE is. If you prefer SHE, that’s fine.

I don’t want to dwell on atheism. “They” and others are too hung up with aspects of GOD that are confusing, untrue and create more fear than goodwill.  You must understand one very important point  – religion is NOT GOD. Religion is religion having really very little to do with GOD. GOD is also not any book, text, tablet, scroll, animal sacrifice, piece of clothing or practice. Religious books and texts are man’s (women’s) thoughts and interpretations, not GOD’s.  Not believing in GOD, does nothing to stop HIM from HIS presence in a person’s life. I’m sorry, but man has little choice when it comes to GOD. HE’s there whether you like it or not.

There is, of course, a GOD. GOD is not dead, because life or death acquaints with humans, not GOD. HE cannot die, because HE was never born. GOD exists – indefinitely, everywhere and certainly not exclusively in church’s, temples or mosque’s. HE is not human. He has never appeared in human form. There was never a need to. GOD couldn’t do what HE does if HE was human. If you prefer to give HIM a face, you should feel comfortable doing so. HE can be energy or something universal or whatever else you want HIM to be. But HE is there  - always and everywhere. You communicate with HIM by praying. HIS presence is always IN you. HE communicates to you by miracles or tragedy and answers or by actions, events and ideas with the help of angels and, of course, through people.

GOD is much more like us than we realize. HE is not as forgiving as some religions might have us believe. Being like us, he does make mistakes. Does GOD punish people? Yes, he does. Will HE forgive you for all the bad things you done in your life? Probably not. And that should not scare you, because the concept of heaven and hell is, again, the creation of man. What happens after we die is something we cannot possibly understand right now. What about reincarnation or some other form of rebirth? Maybe. I believe GOD expects you to live a productive, caring and charitable life and not worry about what happens when you die.

But, do you understand WHO IS GOD? If there is no religion, then what? Plenty and everything. Again, religion is a mask, a template and dish of assorted controls that men has placed on other men. GOD was and is the creator, the sky, the sea, us, animals, fish, water, Mars and the moon and whatever else exists beyond that. Man is product of evolution – he or she just did not pop down here next to a tree, apple and snake. That is NOT GOD, that is religion again. GOD is a power, presence, force, an energy within your mind. You don’t kill someone because of what a book says, no, it feels wrong in your brain, in your heart, in your DNA because GOD has placed that “module” inside you. You want to think of GOD as the “Father”, then do so.

GOD is intuition, memories, feelings that you’ve been here or there before, coincidence, happiness, sadness, grief, surprise, astonishment, luck, jealousy, fear, compassion and anger. When the first man and woman walked the Earth,  their emotions were very similar to ours now. Did they require rules or books or tablets to eat, sleep, have sex or feel what we feel now? No. GOD was there with them as HE is everywhere now. As time moved on, religion developed and as we all have read the history, nothing much got better. It offered no more clarity or comfort than it does now. Because man lost focus as to who GOD truly is. It was, is and should be quite simple.

So, do you now know who is GOD? You should. Don’t think too hard because that’s what religion has programmed you to do. Let that all go. Free yourself. Keep it simple. HE is an ever-present-presence in your life. HE is with you always. You don’t need any of the absurd trappings of any religion to be by HIS side, because HE is there already with everyone everywhere. There is no need to seek scientific proof of HIS existence, just accept it. As I said, you don’t have much choice anyway. Feel free to not accept or not believe, it doesn’t matter. GOD is in your DNA – HE is and will always be a part of you. That is who HE is.

Fired? 10 Things You Need To Do Now

Bitten by the shark? Canned, terminated, outsized, downsized, outsourced, replaced, let go, off shored – fired? Now what? When you get your next job remember my #1 rule – the day you start looking for a new job is the second day you’re in your new one.

I’ve been where you are now, so let’s get started.

1. go to unemployment and apply for benefits immediately.

2. whatever time you got up for work today, do the same every day until you find your next position.

3. being unemployed is like being in quicksand – the longer you’re “in it” the harder it’s going to take to get out.

4. get comfortable real fast learning how to sell yourself.

5. forget drinking or eating because you’re angry or depressed. No  drugs. Stuff your face if you must with carrots, apples and celery.

6. look at yourself in the mirror – would you hire you? – it better be a yes or you need to change your appearance now.

7. don’t go to any movies about the end of the earth or watch endless negative news or programming.

8. finding a job is a job – get over yourself – working part-time to keep yourself sane is a good idea.

9. get a resume written fast and get very “fluent” in every social media platform.

10. don’t believe everything you think – very important advise from Wayne Dyer, Ph.D.

As a former CEO of an outplacement and career counseling firm, I most certainly have many more suggestions for you. If you’re interested just follow me on Twitter at @mjgru. Good luck.

Divorce - Why Now?

Long ago and far away – I believe some other writer used that line – God or whomever you think made people – gave us one lifetime to live. For thousands of years, if you’ve followed history, it looks as though “man” messed a lot of things up.

All the religious strife, war, political upheavals, disease, famine and what was a lot of unhappiness, misery, depression and ill will toward each other seemed to prevail. Forget the reasons, it doesn’t really matter. Blame whomever you want if it makes you feel any better.

So, long ago and far away, we all had one life to live. We did the best we could with it. You chose a life partner or were “assigned” one by your parents or elders or whatever they were called back then, moved into something made of rock, stone, mud and wood and tried to put a positive swing on the whole affair. The man farmed, used a spear or bow and arrow or rifle to hunt for food - women had the kids and cooked. We’re told that as time moved forward we “progressed” and our lives became easier. Well, not really.

I want you to consider this. Where we once had a lifetime, we now have TWO – maybe even three. And if you believe that as I, of course, do, then, you know by looking around that people live longer than they ever have and that in the future, more of us could live even longer – maybe into the 100’s. So let’s go back to some period like the Renaissance – the Middle Ages – Michelangelo. The average life expectancy then was 35. 35-50% never reached the age of 16. Think about that. You have until 35, if you’re lucky, to “have” a life. Hard to grasp that, right? Yes it is. That was a lifetime to them, but certainly not to us.

2013, social media, an ever “open” society, transparency, change – constant technological revolution. We want and demand more.  We all have more options than ever. And, we have two lifetimes to do it in. Are we all overjoyed with this paradigm shift of choice and options? No. The life partner with whom you agreed to “forever” with – that relationship – that contract you entered into is, for lack of a better term, old –  tedious. Some think of it as toxic.

The both of you are being barraged by “other” choices 24/7/365 via the internet, television – other people and friends. Women, in particular, have been “supercharged” – empowered - to more than ever before in history go out into the world and make a difference with themselves and for others. Concurrently, men’s role have dramatically changed and the definition of what it is to be a man has yet to be solidified.

So, you get married at 25. Have children. Cultivate your careers. It’s been fun, but do “we” really need each other any more? It’s not like it “was”. I’m bored. I’ve grown as a person. Perhaps you’ve never lived alone before. You’re wondering what it would be like. Maybe you want to relocate into the city and your partner doesn’t. Do you earn twice as much as your husband now and you don’t want to make decisions together anymore? Tired of him being a curmudgeon? Had enough of sports or her crafts occupying the entire living room? He wants children - you don't - and he forgets he's not the one who gets pregnant. The list of reasons for splitting up are endless.

The difference is now you can do something about it. There is no more “stigma” of divorce. For many, religion has taken a back seat in our lives or isn’t even a factor in our life decisions. You’re 40, 50 or 60 and now you’ve got another lifetime in front of you. Do you really want to move on with the same person? Has your first life with this partner been that satisfying? The kids are older, maybe there are drugs, alcohol or other debilitating diseases involved. Sadly there might be abuse or was there infidelity? You want to make you #1 now. You want a new life without the confines marriage. Maybe you want to come out. You want “better” and “more” sex.

I got the “S” word in there finally, didn’t I? I like asking my readers questions, so, why has it been the “accepted” practice, seemingly forever, to be forced into having sex with just one person from the time you say “I do” until you die? Many find that entire premise absurd. No, I do not think someone while in a marriage should have sex “outside” of the partnership. I'm traditional that way. But, we’re human, and we have desires, urges that don’t end when you get married or when you’re 35, 45 or 60 or 70. You’ve found someone else or you want to search for someone else to have sex with, because, no surprise, having sex with same person year after year after year is, well, honestly, not really “natural”.

I said the reasons for divorce are endless. The reasons for staying together have been and continue to lose their validity and value. People want to be happy and that no longer means staying married. The institution itself reminds me of gas stations – I was going to say Blockbuster (have yoou forgotten them already?) first. They’re still around, we surely make of use them, but rapidly in the near future, most of them will disappear and new entities will appear. Marriage remains a tradition, but divorce rates soar and will stay that way, as “we” seek other alternatives, including shorter legal marriage contracts to mirror our now more than one lifetime.

Marriage – A Renewable Contract

One of Americans greatest failures is their ability to change. Tradition is good, but not when it interferes with the growth of an individual’s freedom or happiness. The falling back on what once was easy, safe and comfortable does not mean – and the facts prove my point – that it will continue to be a viable process. This is not an argument over religion, the Bible, same-sex marriage or civil unions. It is the harsh reality that marriage no longer should be a lifetime contract.

You meet someone, fall in love, you get married, maybe have children, they have grandchildren, you retire, live happily ever after, travel, then die. As one comedian used to say, “Isn’t that special”. But we all know that is the exception rather than the rule. When folks first started getting married, they lived until they were 35, maybe 40. If you were really lucky you could possibly have made it to 50. You probably got together much earlier than we do now – in the Jewish religion you could become a man at 13. Let’s say you delayed the enviable and got married at age 16, avoided all the social upheavals , religious wars and numerous plagues, famines and diseases and passed away at 42. You were married, hopefully happily, 26 years.

In comes the 1950’s. That’s when many traditions began to fall apart. Men and women began to realize that their parents and their grandparents were living in a much different world. Females were assuming a role in society that had been put down by men for thousands of years. Men finally were forced to come clean and admit that their mental and physical superiority to women was utterly false. Sex was becoming more “open” and all Americans were coming out of the shell that kept them in a kind of bondage preventing them from being “more” whole as human beings.

Divorce equaled the marriage rate. The traditional “family” was turned upside down. Women delayed having children making their mark in business. Men were not working in steel mills, mines or in manufacturing anymore and struggle to determine where they were needed most. Advances in health care and medicine have extended our lives until 70 years and more. Economically, the majority of Americans have been put into an ever tightening vise trying to achieve the American dream of success.

People are not more miserable than ever, but do have the options more so now than at any other time in history to do something about it. Only a small minority of Americans have any restrictions on them to live as they please. Religious barriers to divorce are meaningless in the face of a nuns protesting their freedoms, priests being charged and convicted of sex crimes, and followers disagreeing with many of the basic tenants of the Church. Obtaining a “simple” uncontested divorce is as easy in just about every State as it used to be to fly to Reno or Mexico to end a relationship.

The notion of getting and remaining within the legal contract of marriage for life should end. It should be a “renewable contract” let’s say every 10 years. The amount of pressure that would take off people would be enormous.  The resulting happiness would renew the entire marriage process. The divorce rate would decrease, taking an unnecessary burden off our legal system. Can you just imagine the positive psychological impact of being able to be married for just 10 years? The lessening of all the arguing, depression, financial angst and involvement of lawyers, judges and mediators.

That would put marriage more in line with the rest of our lives. In the past, someone would be employed at one or two jobs over the course of their career then retire. People are now very typically changing jobs every 2-5 years. It is conceivable that a person, who might retire at age 70, would have not just multiple jobs but multiple careers. Like the of women in the 50’s, the entire notion of careers, retirement and marriage has been turned upside down. Marriage has not kept pace with the times. Men now remain at home without shame and take care of their children. Many men and women work from home. We have entered into and are in the process of a new lifestyle revolution, nothing of which includes a “lifetime” of anything.

I said at the outset of this piece that Americans are resistance to change. That is especially true for marriage. There is nothing to fear. It’s OK for us to admit that the institution has ended and it’s time to move on to a new and better “renewable” system. Families and children will, as they have for decades, learn to adjust and adapt. Religion does not require marriage to exist. And, surprise, surprise - without everyone’s consent the shift away from “traditional” lifetime marriage has already started. “We” just haven’t given it our stamp of approval yet. But just as we now stand on line for $4 coffee, drink “vitamin” water out of designer plastic bottles, seek guidance and advise from our cell phones and buy automobiles that operate on batteries, so to will Americans both seek more and bless changes in the marriage contract. Better late than never.

Our Pathetic Health Care System - A Solution

I don’t think there is any question that the selection of Paul Ryan by Mitt Romney as his VP running mate has finally opened the doors to a “real” debate on health care issues. The national healthcare “system” in this country is a failure in terms of both cost and availability. Solutions have been brushed under the rug for too long and America has clearly lacked the leadership and courage to effectively deal with the problem. Maybe, just maybe, as this new national debate over Medicare expands, as the next Presidential election gets closer, we will presented with some doable solutions.

The primary flaw in our current process is the intertwining of our jobs and health insurance. Job #1 would be to eliminate employers out of the health care insurance equation. The cost and selection of health insurance should be solely the responsibility of the individual, not his or her boss or the government. The role of the government should be to ensure that the health insurance industry provides the most competitive services and prices to the public as possible. Should that fail to be the case, the industry must be regulated by government to do so.

The campaign promise that “everyone” should have the same “Cadillac” healthcare coverage as Congress, should serve as the benchmark. If that is Medicare, then that should be the foundation. That “plan” should then be sold to the public by a variety of private providers so that it could be purchased by everyone. There should be no mandated requirement to purchase such a plan. There would be no vouchers, coupons, certificates or exchanges associated with such a program. Medicare, for those 50 and over should go unchanged. Those that can financially do so should opt out of receiving benefits. For those between 18-50, healthcare insurance would be purchased as one would life or car insurance.

There is the ever present cloud of the people who cannot afford health coverage. That was what Medicaid was designed for. With ever more guidelines to reduce fraud, this system should continue, however, be redesigned to offer not only better care to patients, but a significantly improved payment system to providers. The objection to this has always been cost – how and why should “we” pay for this. The answer is both economics and ethics based. As our economy “stabilizes” or “normalizes” – as unemployment is reduced and Americans insist on a balanced Federal budget, the funding requirement for Medicaid should decrease and the impact lessened on taxpayers. Ethically, is all our responsibility to take care of every American that needs medical care.

What the American people must demand is simplicity. Obama care is not, nor ever will be simple. It was a worthy move forward, but rushed “disjointed” into law. It is both not enough and too much. It was never “sold” or explained properly, even to this day the majority of Americans do not understand it. The so-called “Ryan” plans for healthcare is also flawed. But clearer and smarter heads needs to prevail here. Too many Americans are being hurt by the delay. Call it my own ignorance, but this must be above politics. A better “system” can be achieved now, not in 2014. It must be the national goal.

The American Dream - A National Depression

I recently spoke to a young man who despite numerous personal obstacles was graduating high school. He was certainly not the best student, but earning a diploma had always been one of his goals. He would be the first in his dysfunctional family to receive one.

I asked him what next – what was his goal – now that he had accomplished this. His response obviously concerned me. “If I'm lucky I'll get hit by one of those big orange city garbage trucks, sue, win a million dollar law suit and never have to work.”

What has happened to the American dream both for people of all ages? I'm reading an excellent book called “Snowball – Warren Buffet and the Business of Life” by Alice Schroeder. When Buffett completed school, “possibly the most prestigious corporate job in the United States was working for *US Steel. Almost every young businessman saw the route to success as working his way up the ladder in a great industrial corporation.”
Schroeder writes “In Eisenhower's post-war, post-Depression America, job security was all important, and Americans believed that institutions – from the government to large corporations – were essentially benevolent. Finding one's cell inside the instructional beehive and learning how to fit in was the normal and expected thing to do.”

Nobel Prize winner in Economics, Joseph Stiglitz in his book “The Price of Inequality” talks about “America's 1 Percent Problem”. “America has been growing apart, at an increasingly rapid rate. The top 1 percent seized more than 65 percent of the gain in total national income. While the top 1 percent was doing fantastically, most Americans were actually growing worse off.”.

Stiglitz says “It is easy to understand the growing insecurity that so many Americans feel. Even the employed know that their jobs are at risk, and that with the high level of unemployment and the low level of social protection, their lives could suddenly take a turn for the worse. The Great Recession thus represented a triple whammy for many Americans: their jobs, their retirement incomes and their homes were all at risk.”

Is the American “dream” dead? I think not. I believe “we” are suffering from so much more than just a long term economic downturn - we are being held hostage by a serious national depression. Yes, we have damaging economic policies that must be changed, but a lot of where we are is squarely “in” our heads. There is a giant elephant sitting on our back. America does not do “stuck” well. We feel beat up and betrayed. We've had the wind knocked out of us. We're in a kind of mass hypnotic state of self-sabotage fueled by negativity and fear. There is a solution and it’s not complicated.

It has everything to do with the need for BETTER national leadership. We need a focused dynamic coach – a “player” who is going to steer us out of and away from the ditch we've been in since the last year of the Bush presidency. This person must be a master of knowing how to bring together severely opposing parties and lead them to consensus. We need a closer, a statesman, an organizer, a cheerleader, a manager, a rainmaker and a super salesperson. Sadly, our current president is not doing what we require.

We've heard the term Paradigm Shift – a change from one way of thinking to another, a revolution, a transformation a sort of metamorphosis. I've personally experienced such a phenomenon. I was on the PATH train that goes from Jersey City into the World Trade Center. This was years before 9/11. The mood of the country was very much like it is now, perhaps worse. Americans were being held hostage by Iran and we tried and miserably failed to rescue them.

Every morning as the train flew on the tracks under the river to Wall St., men and women were silent, embarrassed and disheartened. What happened to America? The same question that is being asked now. As a new president took office and the hostages were released the mood on that train – and all across America – was jubilant. It was if someone had turned on a light switch and we were shocked into a new positive energy. The riders on the train began to talk again – they spoke of hope, renewal, reinvestment and the American dream.

There is little difference between then and now. We need to find that light switch. We need to find a Roosevelt, Knute Rockne, John Wooden, Patton or Norman Schwarzkopf to get us all believing that there still is an American dream. I'm an independent - right now I don't see ANY of what I'm suggesting going from our Congress. It is sad we don't more choices. Our candidates are debating the lies and content of their campaign commercials, not serious issues. It will take someone like a Chris Christie, with whom I'm not allied politically, but who seems to possess the courage, backbone and fortitude to honestly tell us the truth.

But, as we all decide, never let anyone tell you the American dream is gone. The 1% will always have their wealth. It is the job of the 99% with their entrepreneurial spirit, talent and creativity to turn the country around and get it back on track.  I sincerely hope “we” all choose wisely.

* The American steel industry has been in decline for decades. A victim of intense global competition, greedy unions and advanced technology, steel, along with so many other manufacturing operations (and jobs) was relocated overseas,  more likely to be found in Mexico, Korea or India rather than Michigan, Indiana or Pennsylvania. Millions of jobs, both blue and white collar, have permanently disappeared. What remains in the dust of what once was the mighty and influential American industrial machine is now a diverse offering of service, health and tech related business.

Trump - What’s Next - Bin Laden Not Dead?

#808 - What’s next for Donald Trump aka the “Trumpster”? Does anybody watch his ridiculous show on NBC? Not in my world. I wouldn’t give him or any of his products or properties the right time of day. His brand has rusted. He’s made a fool out of himself, he knows it, and the press and our President have done an outstanding job of reinforcing it. I try to find some redeeming value in everyone, but I’m hard pressed to find anything positive about him. I think it is a credit to the stupidity and prejudice of the Tea Party wing of the extreme Republican right to keep Trump in their favor. Give ‘em the old razzle dazzle Trump, I’m sure, is thinking overtime, probably in the morning, when he’s getting his comb straightened and styled, about how to get right again with the public.

I’d give it a few more days, but since the Trumpster just can’t help himself, I’m quite sure he’s going to ask for – insist on - proof of the Bin Laden assassination. This is really no different than the birth certificate fiasco. And, Obama is going to release something – a photo or tape – with proof that Bin Laden, in fact, is dead – after Trump continues to press him on it. The President will do it to calm the Trumpster, his followers and the media down and end the debate and Trump will, again, declare himself a (Charlie Sheen) winner. It’s all a game. For all we know, the President and Trump are organizing this whole thing behind closed doors together. Perhaps it will all come out in a movie some day.

The government – that is “our” government - does itself no good when their story changes from day to day about what happened in the Bin Laden compound. One helicopter had mechanical problems, then it was hit by small arms fire – then the soldiers blew it up, but then a crucial top secret piece was left or was it? The media, with no journalists to speak of anymore to determine what really happened, is being led around by a carrot on a stick. There was resistance, then there was only one guy with a gun, then one of the wife’s stood in the way, or was it a human shield, a woman from somewhere who just happened to be in the bedroom. Bin Laden’s son – one of them – was shot and killed, but where is that body? Where’s everyone else?

There was an intense fire fight, then there wasn’t. The troops spent most of the 45 minutes on the ground collecting information and hardware or was it 20 minutes? Bin Laden was armed and fired, but then he had no weapon, perhaps a rifle behind him, but then resisted and was shot twice in the eye, above the eye, one in the eye one in the head, or did they hit him over the head with his shoe? Why wasn’t the compound blown up after the soldiers left? Why leave it for people to swarm in and around it? Why wasn’t the women or the wife taken back to the ship or wherever our guys came from? Why leave her to the incompetent Pakistani’s?

OK, kudos to the President, but for goodness sakes, here we go again – this was the problem with the health care bill – the information is not being managed properly. The CIA director is on the news saying one thing and the President is saying something else. Why is the CIA director talking to anyone? Why didn’t the President just order everyone to shut up and he’ll be the mouthpiece for the government. His press secretary is terrible. I thought the first guy was bad but this new guy just does not communicate the message of the White House, at all.

Get the message straight. Stop changing the story. Stick to the facts. The President jokingly said the Trumpster is going to move on to insist on proof of the moon landing. He also made some reference to rappers, that I don’t understand, nor care to. But, in this case, that is the killing of Bin Laden, I think we all need more evidence, and I don’t care if Trumps champions the cause for it or not.

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One less loser + They're Married!

#807 - Well, greetings all. It's a good morning. I have one less loser to deal with in my life and I feel good. I did wake up early to catch the Royal wedding. I turned on the "tele" just as the young couple was being pronounced man and wife. I thought it interesting that the NBC, more than a few times, showed Elton John and his wife - or husband. I don't know what they call each other. There were no other shots of any other entertainers or celebrities. What was that all about? I also listened closely to the words of the various religious men presiding over the ceremony with regards to love, respect, children, etc., and wonder about the divorce rate here in the U.S. and around the world. The words from these robed "learned" men are in fact, just a bunch of words - they sound nice and might have meant something in the past, but except to only a few, are meaningless to the rest of civilization in this day and age. I wonder if marriage "until we die" should be changed to "if at such date, perhaps five years from now, if we still can stand each other, we'll renew our vows". Of course, when I got married, we changed our vows to "forever and ever" so you might say I'm really in it for the long haul. The photo is by Alistar Grant of the Associated Press/AP

Censorship is Cowardice…

Professionals have to deal with a wide variety of individuals over the course of their career. You will encounter people who are jealous of your talents, education and experience. This is a problem I am having right now. I have given this person an “out”, but it fell on deaf ears and so the war has begun.

It is hard to reason with a ex-drug addict, someone who failed miserably as a owner/operator of his own truck – a person with limited education and professional experience with an insignificant job. If you’ve studied World War 2, you know that the Nazi’s murdered millions of innocents. They put into power a person like I’m dealing with and they were technocrats. They oversaw censorship in all aspects of the society that was the Third Reich. They put up roadblocks to plug the “normal” flow of communications. They took over the press and put the reports and journalists in prison. The French and Italians also had to contend with such “little” people. They were cowards.

This is the kind of person who now has come into my life. It is unfortunate, and the timing couldn’t been worse, but I don’t succumb to censorship, especially by someone who should be seen and not heard. This person could never hope to be either as good as me or my equal, but I have put up with him because it was good for my curriculum vitae. He had created a positive avenue for discussion and opinion of a rather dull mature industry, but it soured. He snapped over an insignificant issue, unimportant in the scheme of things, listened to detractors and commenter's with even less education, experience and talent than he, and so the castle will eventually crumble.

What a waste. But life goes on. Superior individuals, like myself, must press on and will prevail. I write the truth. I am not interested in what others think. I write for me and nobody else. I have never accepted advertising and no comments are allowed on this or any of my other blogs. I invite you to read, learn and think about what I say. I guarantee, it will make you a better person.

Technorati Tags: trucking,life on the road,life off the road,censorship in blogging,censorship,owner operators failing,cowardice

The Birth Certificate…

This whole birth certificate affair with the President, intensified recently, by Donald Trump, has not made me despise Trump any less, no, in fact, it has made me hate him even more. I believe it was a Nike commercial with the message that the real heroes in our world are NOT athletes, rich bloviating businessmen (like Trump) or performance artists. The real heroes are parents, cops, firemen, judges, the military, just to name a few. These are the folks to be looked up to and followed. Our media needs to devote more time to them than the rich and famous. 

I happen to be one of those people that couldn't care less if President Obama was born here in the U.S. or not. I also don't care if he is a Christian or a Muslim. Perhaps if he had cheated on his wife, I would care, because it would (your honor) go to the question of his character, or lack thereof. But the rest of it - citizenship or religion - no. I judge the man solely on his performance. His job is to improve and protect the democracy, and so far to date, he hasn't done such a bad job. Certainly, that last guy, Bush, was a disaster.

Yes, yes, the President can do better. There’s not a person on this planet that can’t. I would have wanted to see Guantanamo closed, a better national health care program in effect sooner and our "involvement" in Iraq, Afghanistan, Libya and Pakistan brought to an end last year. The larger problem here is not the President, it is the Congress, comprised, as The New York Times so aptly put it, by cowards.

But what now? What’s the next diversion from our problems coming ‘round the corner? Who is the next fool  - the next BT Barnum - to come along and use their own self-interests and financial resources to get the media to shine their light on them away from what’s really important. Perhaps we need another conspiracy, yeah, why this birth certificate from Hawaii isn’t real – it was made up. Forged by Muslin conspirators who have planned to overthrow the government decades ago and have been “breeding” Obama in Africa until he was ready to be sent to the U.S. to be elected President of the free world.

The whole Ivy League and Harvard Law thing never happened either. All the transcripts were made up and put in the computer by expert terrorist hackers funded by Saudi Arabia. Isn’t this fun? Forget the deficit, health care and the 3 wars – hey this sure makes better news on FOX. Trump, with his bad comb-over, alcoholic big nose and millions of dollars in “Apprentice” television money is great for ratings. Do you recall the tsunami in Japan and the nuclear fall-out? What the heck ever happened with that? I’ll tell you, it wasn’t fun. Too complicated, too confusing for Americans. Maybe they should extend out the NFL season or have a separate summer league so people won’t have to deal with the high gas prices, the miserable weather or whatever else happens this summer.

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